Connie the Cat

M-ket

2011-01-03T14:26:00.000-08:00

On New Year's Eve 2010, my beloved cousin Mickey 'Mousey' passed away.

He was the best soul ever, undemanding, loveable and special.

He will be missed, in a way, but at the same time always stay with us.

Love you, M-ket.

Busted

2008-12-27T12:16:00.000-08:00

I... have been a good cat.

Oh dang.

My other tin-opener hooked up with my tin opener. Hey! They live like... 5 houses apart! And I am exceedingly hungry!

Now... well? My other tin-opener got this Maine Coon. Not that I mind. There is enough food to share.

Oh well.

I have been found out. Two-timing. Well.

I am a cat.

Worship me.

You will, won't you?

^..^

Err...

Cat and mouse

2008-09-28T12:30:00.000-07:00

Ready, set,

snack?

[Editor's notice: no mice were harmed in the production of this blog post]

Here I am

2008-09-03T11:02:00.002-07:00

Evening.

Read my fur. I have demands.

But first things first...

a clean cat is a good cat. There. Done. Ready. A clean cat is...

a hungry cat?! Hello! Ready, set, fish!

Roughage

2008-09-03T11:02:00.001-07:00

Dude.
I miss food, treats and I care about a healthy diet.

So see me eat your precious imported Japanese grass aka weed.

Euch! Well it is supposed to be healthy?

Now give me fish!

Tease

2008-09-03T11:02:00.000-07:00

Don't. Do not tease cat. Not with treats. Do not. No. Ever.

It is I

2008-08-18T13:43:00.000-07:00

You neglected me.

See me take my time...

wondering if and when...

I might be ready to...

have you tickle my belly and feed me treats again.

White noise

2008-07-25T13:38:00.000-07:00

Business trip. Of course. And you made sure someone would feed me.

Listen. Just not good enough. Do you wonder why I only showed up once while you were gone?

I demand you to open my food.

Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

Inside

2008-07-14T13:13:00.001-07:00

So. Thanks for nothing, tin-opener. You stepped on my paw this morning. Do you not know that me keeping close to your feet when I am hungry is... meant to entertain you so I get more food? Dumb human.

Why then am I inside your place? Rubbing against your knee?

Food. Can you spell that? Better yet, can you get out of this confined space and

serve it to me now? Please make sure you add those vitamin flakes and give me my treats.

Copy? Or do I need to 'wash my paws' on your white carpet? Huh?

Breakfast

2008-07-13T02:58:00.000-07:00

Good morning. Glad you realize what me caterwauling outside in the morning means. I want in. I want food.

Errm? Why is the door to my bowl closed?

Think again, human. Look at me. And consider your options carefully!

Treats

2008-07-05T14:23:00.000-07:00

Let me in! I know you keep treats in there. And they are mine!

What?! No treats? You must be joking!

Ah, there. I almost knew you were joking.

Bad joke. Don't do this again. And now let me swallow.

Here we are now

2008-07-02T14:44:00.002-07:00

entertain us .

Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello ?!?!?!

That means food, slow-wit.

Front

2008-07-02T14:44:00.001-07:00

Hello there.

I like hanging out at your front... Sorry. Did I say your? I meant my front-yard.

By the by? Next time you walk past? Bring some food will you? There's a good human.

Think again

2008-07-01T14:21:00.000-07:00

Call it an extra sense. Call it what you may. I got wind. No, not what you think. There were plans of a house-guest cat. Staying at my tin-opener's. For four days. No way.

As soon as I heard of those laughable plans, I moved in.

Well, long enough to remind my tin-opener that he shall not have any other cat before me.

My, didn't my ear itch in there. Glad I got out again after I made my point. By the way. Time for food.

Truth

2008-06-20T15:17:00.000-07:00

Just the way it is

Long time

2008-06-18T16:30:00.000-07:00

no see. Not that I mind that as such.

But... when I am not there to make sure, you tend to

fill my bowl with dry food instead of meat. And treats. So.

See how cute I am. And how hungry. And act. Now.

Hop

2008-06-18T14:55:00.000-07:00

Sleeping in the sun is good.

Seeing my tin-opener come back is better.

It spells food. Right?

Roll

2008-06-11T14:46:00.000-07:00

roll roll in ze hay. Well lawn. Whatever. Gets me food.

Stalking

2008-06-11T14:39:00.000-07:00

Approaching. With a purpose.

Love love. Did I say purpose?

Well that is cat for ulterior motive.

Off! Off my tin-opener! I need food, err meant love first!

Waiting

2008-06-09T14:50:00.002-07:00

He seems to have given up. And about to feed me. No wonder. I have been caterwauling louldy enough in the stair-well and his place...

Patience, I am afraid, is not my forte...

but I have priorities...

Now that the itch is gone, get down here and feed me already!

House

2008-06-09T14:50:00.001-07:00

The art of ambushing. I have it down to kitten's play. In the morning, I get my tin-opener on his way out. In the evening, I get him on his way in. What does that mean? Regular large meals for me.

He complained like "Patience! Let me put away my shopping!"

No way dude. I shall follow you. Until you feed me.

Love love love. Feed me now? Or must I bite your unprotected feet again?

You do not talk

2008-06-07T08:38:00.000-07:00

about fight club.

No way. Am not talking.

Feed me. Is all I will say.

Are you deaf?! Feed me now! I had a bad night!

Night owl

2008-06-05T16:35:00.000-07:00

So? Yes, I am roaming.

There. I did come back after all. For the food, do not get me wrong.

Knee

2008-06-03T15:28:00.002-07:00

Hugging got me thinking.

Now if I show something... looking like affection?

There. Love love love.

You human...

Will I get more treats? Before you answer, feel my claws on your leg.

Playtime

2008-06-03T15:28:00.001-07:00

Now that I am awake and hungry...

let's play some. So I can eat more.

You game?

Hugs!

Waking

2008-06-03T15:28:00.000-07:00

Nap. Good thing. Dreams of fish.

Dreams may come true? There's my tin-opener!

Yawn

I am ready!

Borderline

2008-06-02T15:17:00.000-07:00

I was taking a nap just now. But for food... I will get up. Let me stretch, first...

Inside

2008-06-01T15:15:00.001-07:00

Inside, there must be food.

Since I surely did not get any out here yet.

So I want in!

Bah humbug. No food in there either.

Tasty

2008-06-01T15:15:00.000-07:00

The tip of my tail. Tasty. What can I say?

Slowly

2008-05-31T14:54:00.000-07:00

but exceedingly hungry

I come towards thee and expect

food. You hear me?

Fishing

2008-05-29T23:44:00.000-07:00

Still no food.

I have to fend for myself.

Treats down there? Perhaps?

What? Don't blame me for trying. Feed me if you are really concerned...

Look

2008-05-29T11:44:00.000-07:00

This looks... promising?

Arrr! Shiver me timbers! My ears did itch!

Wet

2008-05-28T14:32:00.001-07:00

Right. Great. Food and all. So what is up with that... lawn sprinkler?

I am trying to hide. Where it is dry.

But I have you know. I am not happy. Being wet.

Chilling

2008-05-28T14:32:00.000-07:00

Anticipation... given you do know there will be food...

is a pleasure.

Mrrrrow. I know there is food.

Rest

2008-05-27T14:48:00.004-07:00

Food had. Tired. Full. Tickle my ears. Whatever.

See me.

Not care. Much.

Windy and hungry

2008-05-27T14:48:00.003-07:00

Still no food.

You have to be joking.

Desparation!

Really now.

Barrier

2008-05-27T14:48:00.002-07:00

I know there is food waiting for me. There always is.

Do not even joke about no food down there!

You scare me, at times... Bad human!

Color me

2008-05-27T14:48:00.001-07:00

Beautiful? I don't know.

I waited. For food. For a long time.

So excuse me, while I wash my paws and powder my nose. In your flowerbed. Sucker.

Enough

2008-05-27T14:48:00.000-07:00

is not enough. Not for me. I manage to ambush my tin-opener regularly in the morning. Gets me a decent breakfast. Not that dry food rubbish. Good. Now I follow him inside when he seems reluctant on feeding me at night.

Here I am. Looking at you. Pulling threads out of your carpet. Catch my drift? Food!

Don't just stand there...

do something about food!

Pick me up

2008-05-26T14:32:00.001-07:00

My intense vocal qualities indicated clearly... I need a pick me up. I need to educate him more. I meant that more... food related? Oh well..

Seconds

2008-05-26T14:29:00.001-07:00

After successfully ambushing my tin-opener on his way to work early today...

I pretend I am not interested too much in food tonight... For the now.

Yoga

2008-05-25T14:03:00.001-07:00

As a cat, I of course am into being balanced. Whole. So after a good meal, yoga helps me. To get hungry again. Learn from a master.

'Mooning Duck'

'Prancing Rabbit'

'Prehensile Swan'

'Dumb cat'

'Silverfish'

Oh. That is not yoga. That is kung fu. 'Claw of fur'. Eat this, Bruce.

Fed

2008-05-25T08:10:00.000-07:00

Better. But you were slow on feeding.

Louder

2008-05-25T07:46:00.001-07:00

He must be deaf. I shout for food and nothing happens. Let me try this one more time. Only.

Food!

Did you hear me?

Listen

2008-05-25T07:46:00.000-07:00

carefully, for I shall repeat this until there is food: Mrrrrrrow!

Very loudly. And repeatedly. Oh, I said that already. Mrrrrrow!

We are you

2008-05-25T07:41:00.000-07:00

Really now. Why did my tin-opener write "We are you" on his door? Beats me. I am me. And that is that. Humans. Tsk.

Full

2008-05-21T14:02:00.000-07:00

My. I pestered him so... I got two helpings. And treats. Over and out.

Alert

2008-05-21T10:51:00.002-07:00

So I was about to move in. For the love of food. But...

what was that noise out there?

Well don't look at me for answers. I only come here to eat.

House

2008-05-21T10:51:00.001-07:00

I am thinking about moving in.

If there is food in there.

Ummm. There is not? Hello?

There

2008-05-21T10:51:00.000-07:00

you are.

I have been expecting you.

And food.

Pre-dinner wash

2008-05-19T13:03:00.003-07:00

Ah! My tin-opener is on his way. Food will be served soon. I know the routine. Time to... clean up.

Pesky lawn mites...

...almost missed a spot...

ready now! Food!

Humor him

2008-05-19T13:03:00.002-07:00

Food is slow to appear.

This calls for desperate measures.

Cupboard love!

Hide and seek

2008-05-19T13:03:00.001-07:00

I told you. No use hiding indoors.

I shall follow you, sit on you, scratch you, rub against your legs and drool on you until... my belly is full.

Food! Did you hear me? Food!

Greetings

2008-05-19T13:03:00.000-07:00

Here I am. And where have you been?

If I remember correctly, you were unavailable yesterday... And all I got was dry food. No wonder you found most of that left this morning. And found me... ambushing you on your way to work... Hungry.

So... Will it be a better evening now? Foodwise? I hope so!

No use hiding indoors...

Blue ball

2008-05-17T14:43:00.002-07:00

So yeah? It is my favourite toy...

and I just had food...

so huh? Why do you stare at me from that angle?

Barely

2008-05-17T14:43:00.001-07:00

bearable. Oh well. Glorious food.

Soon. I hope for your sake.

Sticks

2008-05-17T14:43:00.000-07:00

Hi there. It is I. That spells hungry.

Ah! Treats. I like food treats...

Nummy. Mind your own business for now.

Let me in

2008-05-17T08:59:00.000-07:00

Out on the wiley, windy lawn
We'd roll and fall in green.
You had a temper like my appetite:
Too hot, too greedy.
How could you leave me,
When I needed food?
I hated you. I loved you, too.

Bad dreams in the night.
They told me I was going to lose the fight,
Leave behind my weedy, weedy
Weedy lawn.

Tin-opener, its me - Connie.
Come out. Im so hungry!
Let me in-a-your door.

Cleanliness

2008-05-16T16:36:00.000-07:00

is Godliness.

And I would rather be clean when food is present.

Ungh. My back itched. Did you get the hint about food?

Did you now? Remember: actions speak louder than words. Purr.

Cut

2008-05-16T16:25:00.000-07:00

Lawn. Always muttering about the lawn. I do not know what he means.

It was fine digging for mice in it before. Also a neat potty for me. Oh well. I can also roll around on it.

If there is food later on.

Leg job

2008-05-16T16:19:00.000-07:00

Lawn. Watering. Backache. Backlog. I do not understand Humanese nor do I want to. My tin-opener is muttering. While I dream of fish.

He seems to be very determined... I might have to charm some...

Awww... Can you see how... much I love you, err, want food?

Hello

2008-05-16T11:16:00.000-07:00

Good. You are home. Last time you fed me was... a long time ago.

Mouse in a hole

2008-05-15T13:49:00.001-07:00

Yes. You did not feed me since yesterday morning. I know. But I also must have mislaid my key to the basement's cat treat and kibble locker. So. I love you. For the now. Watch my facial expression and claws though.

Ha! I can fend for myself! Mouse alarm!

Oh well, just kidding. Pet me, feed me and then leave me alone.

Ambush

2008-05-14T20:02:00.000-07:00

Early in the morning. My tin-opener thought he was safe from me. On his way to work. No. I am hungry.

I said I am hungry!

There there. On the way to the food bowl. Good.

The Call of the Wild

2008-05-14T11:38:00.000-07:00

Hello there. Glad you are home. Feed me?

No? Oh wait... I have to see a lady about a cat!

Better now. Just need to dig up your lawn real well..

in that there spot.

Oh. Somehow that evening ended without me getting food? Nowt as strange as human folk.

The meek

2008-05-12T10:53:00.003-07:00

shall inherit the earth. Until such time, the ones who pretend to be meek and attack without remorse, depending on the situation, shall be fed first. Duh...

Oh I can be so friendly.

I am but a poor small hungry kitten.

Please do feed me.

Or else.

Cute Cat Contest

2008-05-12T10:53:00.002-07:00

Rudely forced to abandon a nap, I entered the Cute Cat Contest.

Guess who won?

Predictable, almost boring, I know.

Never had any doubts myself. I play to win. Connie the Cute Cat. Now feed me.

Play dead

2008-05-12T10:53:00.001-07:00

Also called leave me alone, I dream of fish.

Ungh. Leave. Alone. So hard to understand?

Might as well get up then. Bother.

You

2008-05-12T07:49:00.000-07:00

again. Well hello there. I appreciate you not minding me napping.

Fashion

2008-05-11T13:16:00.003-07:00

Cats need no additions. We never go out of fashion and have all we need on us. In perfection. My tin-opener's new garden shoes on the other hand. Oh why waste breath on them. But... they have holes. So while before, me playing with his feet as he was walking (hey, I came with claws from the day I was made) was not as much fun as it could have been, this summer looks promising.

Yeah I followed your silly shoes for a while now. Food. Spell it for me. F. O. O. D. Can you do that? Clever human. Now go do it. I haven't eaten in, um, 4.5 hours. That is cruelty. Can you spell that for me? Huh?

Mad March Hares

2008-05-11T13:16:00.002-07:00

Yeah well sure. Gimme a break. Hares. Mad. We all do know cats excel at everything, do we not? Pay close attention to my claws before you answer.

Alone time

2008-05-11T13:16:00.001-07:00

Alone time. Good time. Guess hiding behind that bush didn't really secure privacy.

Ah. You found me then. I heard you coming ages ago, I just pretended. After all, you did get me new all-natural-fish-pieces food. I hope it is organic. I hope so for your sake, buddy.

Relaxed anticipation

2008-05-11T08:47:00.000-07:00

Having had my dirt-bath and looking cute, I have him where I want him. Oh his way to my food bowl.

Best make sure he fills the bowl nicely...

He sure is taking his time. So why don't I chill a little while he prepares my meal?

Dirt bath

2008-05-11T08:40:00.000-07:00

It simply was about time for one.

Clean this part...

Now my paws...

Nummy. I feel better.

What? Why you're looking at me like that?

Trek

2008-05-11T08:34:00.000-07:00

25,3 °C or 77.5 °F. Sunny of course. That means a good nap in the neighbor's garden. Wait! Tin-opener is limping home. Time to rise and let him know in no uncertain way that I demand food. Now.

He's backing away...

but I have him cornered. So feed me now, person!

Basket case

2008-05-10T16:17:00.000-07:00

Happiness is... a place with food and some human to control.

I am, err, can you tell? Currently not really unhappy.

Balls

2008-05-10T15:16:00.001-07:00

So how much more can a stray ask for? Food, shelter, love. Did I mention food?

Play. Huh. I pretend I am interested in chasing balls. If it secures tomorrow's food.

Balls. Pull the other one.

Afternoon

2008-05-10T15:09:00.000-07:00

Napping in the afternoon is great. Eating in the afternoon is even better.

Shame I have to... sort of beg for food these days.

Oh well. I still am in control and I am a cat...

Now food. Really now. As in... "now"

Lawn

2008-05-10T15:04:00.000-07:00

My my. My tin-opener usually makes such a fuss about his lawn.

I guess I can stand rolling around on it... if it will lead to food eventually.

Words

2008-05-09T13:01:00.000-07:00

alone are not enough. A picture might say more than... but it would not be pretty.

I was hungry. He got home. I followed him. I snuck into the bedroom. While he muttered something like "You are sooo demanding, lemme put away my groceries...". I got bored. He talked more nonsense and opened the inside door to the basement... I went down there in hope of food (while he put away his groceries. I hope they were mainly more fish and treats).

Loud, nasty yelling and growling made him drop his groceries and come after me. By which time I was out through the cat flap. Eyes wide open. Mightily miffed.

How does another feline dare to enter my basement?

I was so outraged I nearly did not come straight back in for a double helping of fish.

And what did he mean, saying "I don't need all that drama coming back home?"

Drama? What about me and my feelings, huh?

Fish coma

2008-05-08T14:31:00.000-07:00

Ungh. Don't press too hard just there.

Paw lickin' good. Now leave me alone. You may go now. Now. I said now.

Abuse

2008-05-08T14:21:00.000-07:00

What a cat has to go through for a piece of food in the modern age is highly ridiculous.

Oh. For now never mind. Scratch you later buddy.

Humble

2008-05-08T14:06:00.000-07:00

Not me of course. I am a cat. You fool. I was talking about the patch at my tin-opener's. I used to have a whole shed for me there . But he tore it down. Granted, he left it standing the first winter. So I'd not be cold. Fool. Cold? I am a cat. I am hungry!

Yes. That is part of the attraction. So... Feed me now?

Reaching out to your fellow beings is so... satisfying. For the soul. And the body. Especially if they hold food.

Home

2008-05-07T16:16:00.000-07:00

Sort of. My basket. My blanket. My brush. Now top up the bowl, tickle my belly and go away.

Fish

2008-05-07T13:51:00.001-07:00

Magic words. Catnap. Catnip. Fish. Food. Sun.

I almost love you. For as long as it takes. Takes you to put fish down. If it doesn't take too long. Hurry up.

Right. That was borderline timewise, but I can forgive you. While I eat. Why did you have to put the hose there anyway?

Food

2008-05-07T13:51:00.000-07:00

Cat gotta eat, right? Now what if the food provider is un-cooperative as in "My, I need to water the lawn first"? Cat gets miffed. Just the way it is.

Granted. I might show some interest in... a path that will lead to food. Good food. Fresh food.

Relaxed

2008-05-05T15:12:00.003-07:00

Sometimes, you have to pretend. That you are... buddies with someone. Someone who has access to the food you want. So. Tickle my belly. And watch me scratch you. But do feed me. As you always do. Eventually. Even if you are bleeding.

Only human.

Home of the brave

2008-05-05T15:12:00.002-07:00

Tonight, I ventured out into the apartment of my tin-opener. He got mad when I went into the bedroom. Hey, I rolled around in the dirt of a freshly turned piece of soil only seconds before, so why should I not want to explore the soft covers on the bed? Anyway... Since he was reluctant to feed me, I explored the place for a bit. And discovered that there is a second exit... onto the balcony!

Huge

2008-05-05T15:11:00.000-07:00

Wow. Never mind the grass. I found something real big to nibble on. What? What is he shouting? "Not the bamboo"? See me not care.

Weed

2008-05-05T15:10:00.000-07:00

No, not what you think. Tsk. Me likes a bit of grass every now and then. Helps my digestion.

Funny that. My tin-opener put a lot of nice grassy plants in his yard. I like to chew on them. He gets mad shouting stuff like "I paid good money for that" and "you no-good furball". I don't care.

Nothing like good digestion, is there? And sleeping in the sun. And regular meals.

Competition

2008-05-04T14:02:00.002-07:00

Huh. Will this brown rabbit eat my grass? Will it eat my fish? I best check this out.

Sunny

2008-05-04T14:02:00.001-07:00

I like sunny days. They make my tin-opener come out and play. Just wish he'd not be so occupied with digging holes but feed me on sight instead.

Tan

2008-05-04T14:02:00.000-07:00

OK. I hate tan lines. That is the only reason. End of topic. Now.

Winter

2006-12-05T15:06:00.000-08:00

Hm. Being cold is one thing. Being hungry is another thing. Being cold and hungry plain blows. But this guy got me a basket, blanket and brings me food. Hm. I have a shed. We shall see.

Seasons

2006-11-26T12:11:00.000-08:00

Your garden starts to look different. Did I say your? I meant mine. I was here before you were.

Litter box

2006-11-20T16:14:00.000-08:00

Size matters. This is a good one.

All things considered

2006-10-24T15:12:00.000-07:00

that stairwell does not look like much. But the new guy got me this basket. And a blanket. And puts food down.

As much

2006-10-23T15:19:00.000-07:00

as I like food... do not put it out for me in your place... I like food more than I like you and much more than I like your place. And stop looking at me.

Excercise

2006-10-22T14:28:00.000-07:00

Ha. I do not see you doing that anytime now. Bow. Deeper.

Kitchen

2006-10-22T12:24:00.000-07:00

You looking down. Me looking up. I can smell food. We are not amused.